Sensitive
by the lights of paris
Summary: She shouldn't be feeling this way about him but she does and it hurts her because the words he had harshly thrown at her in that bar were coming back to haunt her as she spent her days on the sidelines having been dethroned by a bitch she wonders why she ever used too associate herself with. SB.


**Title: **Sensitive

**Summary:** She shouldn't be feeling this way about him but she does and it hurts her because the words he had harshly thrown at her in that bar were coming back to haunt her as she spent her days on the sidelines having been dethroned by a bitch she wonders why she ever used too associate herself with. CB. SB.

**Authors Note: **_Please do not ask what the hell this is because I have no idea. _I will update HB soon and MTB _but_ I feel like doing fun, simple oneshots for now. This was partly inspired by **Brookebynature's fics **and **Anything but a victim **by **PainfullyIntroverted **I apologize if I spelt anything wrong. This is set post 1.13 and is pretty much AU past that point, its more of a drabble then a oneshot but then most of my oneshots are and I've decided that when and if I wrote book!gossip girl fanfics, then I'll include the characters orginal eye colours but for TV verse, I'll go with the actors eye colour, also I fell as if the characters are OC in this but I always say that, k. In other news, who likes Divergent? _And_ what do you think about the cast?

**Disclaimer: **I own everything, kidding.

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Serena watches her best friend fall in apart in front of her, she tries to catch her and hold her upright, she really does but it's so hard to do and she fails more then once. She watches her best friend fall on the tiles in the bathroom, her head hitting the ground and a little cut opening up on the side of her forehead. A small drop of blood pours out. Blair eventually picks herself up from off of the ground and she shoots Serena a filthy look before locking herself in her room and Serena feels like more of a failure then before, when she was watching her friend faint and she didn't do anything. She leaves the Waldorf Penthouse, she would only cause more trouble by staying there. Dan calls her on her way home but she ignores the call, she can't quite deal with him right now.

Blair stops speaking to her, she doesn't answer her calls, doesn't respond to her texts and when she does it's only a few words. Short and snappy and always harsh, oh so very harsh. _Leave me alone. _It breaks Serena's heart to see her friend like this, it should be Serena breaking down. She's the weaker one, she's the one more prone to mishap. Blair's the strong one, she's never seen a scandal, at least not one that's directly affected her in any way. It's been a week after Blair's dethroning when Serena barges through her bedroom door, she refuses to go on like this. Her best friend needs her. She finds Blair lying on the bed, her body wrecked with sobs and her face is stained in mascara, tears rolling down that burn her cheek. Serena lets out a small gasp and collects the smaller but older girl in her arms, she remembers that this was her once upon a time. Fragile, delicate, on the verge of breaking down. Blair's past the verge of breaking down stage though, she's headed for a full downward spiral. Serena smooths the brunette hair out of Blair's sweaty, pale, face. Blair can't breath anymore, it's to much. She stops crying and she goes limp in Serena's arms. Serena worries for a second about her being dead but the shallow breathing and the slight snoring erases any fear. A faint smile of relief gathering on her lips.

Blair wakes up in the morning and acts as if last night never happened, she remembers doing the same thing after Chuck slept over for the first time, she gulps. The mere thought of that bastard has her in tears within seconds, it isn't fair. This isn't what her life should be like, she's stronger then this, better then this but she's not and her heart hurts so much. Nobody wants her except Serena and Blair expects that its out of habit. She lashes out on Serena when she wakes up, screaming obscenities at her and blaming _her_ for everything and in a way it was all Serena's fault. Serena had slept with _her_ boyfriend and that's the first time Blair realizes just how mad she is at Nate, he slept with Serena while the two of them were together without a second thought and now he's blaming her for sleeping with Chuck while the two of them weren't together. She suspects that he's only mad because he had the decency to tell her that he _had_ slept with Serena whereas Blair had pretended she was a virgin. A pure and simple virgin.

Serena watches Blair break down again with interest. If she wasn't so heartbroken over her friend then she would maybe relish in the fact that Blair's the one breaking down this time, that she's the one falling apart in a messy heap instead of her. Serena tries her best to pick up her pieces and to glue her back together, it works for a little while. They spend the rest of their short holiday joined at the hip, in Blair's room, sharing boxes of godiva chocolates and tissues and watching Audrey Hepburn movies until they were almost sick of the sight of her. _Almost_.

They don't mention Chuck's name and they don't mention Nate's name. No talk of school takes place because Blair's dreading the arrival, everybody will look at her differently. They'll all whisper and snicker and point at the girl who used to be on top and has now fallen to the bottom and whenever the thought finds itself into Blair's mind at night when Serena isn't around, the glue comes undone and she breaks like a china doll all over again. She doesn't mention any of this to Serena, she always puts herself back together. She doesn't want Serena finding out and pitying her. Blair wouldn't be able to deal with Serena's pity or anybody's pity for that matter. Blair Waldorf wasn't pitied.

Serena is nervous about Blair's first day back at school. She and Blair walk side by side, not speaking to one another. Serena decides that they really should of talked more in their break, more about what had happened. She was hoping Blair wasn't expecting to stride into school and be able to rule it again because Penelope had emailed her last night with the new hierarchy statuses and Blair's name was missing from the list. Blair's eyes are covered by a pair of oversized sunglasses and Serena can tell that the reason she's wearing them is because she doesn't want everyone to see her blood-shot eyes and the black rims underneath them, not even make up could fix up that flaw. She has a scarf thrown carelessly around her neck and she's acting as if she hasn't has a care in a world. Blair comes to a halt just in front of the school's gates and even though she's sporting sunglasses, Serena can tell that her eyes are wide and nervous. Blair's teeth are sinking down into her lower lip.

She shouldn't be this scared, Blair rolls her eyes at herself and takes a deep breath. It's just school but she can't go through those gates and let people just mock her and what if she sees Nate or Chuck? She doesn't think she can handle going in there and watching everybody act as if life is fine now that she's not their queen. Her body's trembling and she curses herself for being so damn weak. She had spent all of last night crying her eyes out, she had cried herself to sleep. She takes another breath and then strides through the gates and nothing's even changed, she was expecting to fell different, better hopefully but she doesn't seem any different at all and she knows that she's cracking, she's been pretending for so long. Serena's standing next to her and she shoots her a reassuring smile before running off to go and meet Dan. _Typical._ Just when Blair thinks she's about to fall apart in public, Serena ditches her for some greasy haired brooklynite.

Serena finds Blair in the bathroom at lunch, she's locked herself inside a stall and she can hear the familiar sound of her best friend retching. Her heart breaks in two, she calls out Blair's name but it only echoes around the room, bounces off of the walls and falls flat on the ground. The sniffling in the stall stops though and she can't hear anymore sounds of her vomiting. Serena slowly crosses over to the stall, she taps gently and pushes on the door ever so gently. It opens up right away. Blair's been careless for a reason. Blair's kneeling over the toilet, her sunglasses and scarf discarded, her hair tied up in a loose bun. Her eyeliner smudged and black marks stain her skin around her eyes. Serena's hand reaches out for her and Blair flinches, she doesn't want Serena's pity. She can see the look in the blondes eyes, she wanted someone to find her, she wanted someone to save her but not like this. Not with a pitying look in her eyes mixed in with disgust and repulsion.

_"Don't"_ Blair hisses. She can't stand it, she can't stand this. Serena's hand recoils, she doesn't know the girl in front of her. She's a faint shadow of what her best friend used to be, she's scared to ask what had really happened to make her friend this fucked up. She sets her lips in a straight thin line and leaves her there, she slams the door behind her, she's sick of being there for her when she won't co-operate and tell her whats really wrong. Blair goes limp, her head slumps back and falls on the rim of the toilet bowl, if she wasn't so exhausted and emotionally drained she might have some sense of what she's doing is highly unhygienic but she doesn't care at the moment, she's passed caring. Her hand lightly sweeps over the satin of her skirt before she falls into a deep slumber.


End file.
